Post by Majin Vegeta on Sept 28, 2006 20:12:45 GMT -5
Prologue:
Our story takes place in the small town of South Park, Colorado, Saturday, May 20th, 3:47 PM. Our young heroes are at Kyle Broflovski’s house playing their new Xbox 360. Doritos are scattered everywhere, and the boys are sipping on Mr. Pibb and Pepsi. Stan Marsh (9), Leopold “Butters” Scotch (9), Eric Cartman (9), Kenny McCormick (8 ½), Ike Broflovski (2), and Kyle Broflovski (9 ½) are enjoying their Saturday out of school, until…
Chapter One: Survival.
Stan: Dude this video game is getting boring.
Kenny: Yeah, no joke. This new X-Box 360 sucks ass, Kyle.
Kyle: ugh.. Tell me about it. This is the gayest video game I've ever played!
Cartman: Dude you guys are gay I love this game!
Butters: Well, uh, Eric can I play now?
Cartman: Neeeaawww it's MY video gaaaamee!!
Butters: Well, hamburgers.
Kyle: Well this totally sucks. What do you guys want to do now?
Kenny: How about a movie?
Ike: Bah-bah-bah.. Popcorn!
Cartman: Did that little dildo just say popcorn? Huh-huh! I'm there!
Kyle: Don't call my brother a dildo, you fat-ass
Cartman: Since when did you start caring about that little dildo, JEW!?
Stan: Goddammit just shut the hell up for once.. I have a headache.. ok fine let's just go to the movies.. I hear the new Terrance and Phillip movie, Asses of Fire 2 is now playing.
Cartman: Off to the movies, we shall go, where we learn ever...
Stan: Don't start with me today, Cartman.. Just shut your fat mouth
Kyle: Yeah, you fat bastard!
Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!
Ike: badahba, fat-ass
Cartman: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE DILDO!!
Butters: Oh... jeez..
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(The boys are walking down the road to the theater)
Kyle: Feeling any better, dude?
Stan: Nah.. I still feel like shit.. do you guys have any aspirin.. maybe some tylo..
(Stan was cut off by the horrible site they saw next)
Stan and Kyle: holy... Shit, dude!
(the movie theater lay in ruins, with pieces of the building still on fire, the rest in smoldering ash.. a few charred skeletons of some residents of South Park that were never mentioned in the series lay lifelessly in the street, and several cars are wrecked and stacked on top of each other and burning on fire)
Cartman: GOD DAMN IT!! NOW HOW AM I GONNA GET MY MOVIE!?
Butters: Gee golly you guys.. this looks bad..
Kenny: Dude, what the fuck happened here?
Nerdy Ticket Guy: uughh.. I.. he...
Stan: What's he trying to say?
(Kyle walks over to the NTG and rolls him over on his back)
Kyle: You'll be okay, dude.. just tell me what happened..
NTG:.... he... he came for us.. he.. he's going to destroy South Park...
Kyle: Who? Who came for you?
NTG: he...uugghhh
(NTG coughs up blood and dies)
Kyle: God damn it
Stan: you mean?
Kyle: Yeah.. we got some major shit on our hands (he looks around south park, and sees smoke over the horizon) We better hurry dude.
Kenny: Son of a bitch... I hope I don't die..
Chapter Two: Path of Destruction
(Scene switches to Timmy's house, but he isn't there, only his parents are)
Richard: RICHARD!!!!
Helen: HELEN!!!
Richard: BLAAAHHH!!
Helen: DUAAAHHH!!!
Richard picks up the remote to the TV and presses buttons until the TV turns on
Richard: BLAAAHH!!
Helen: HELEN!!! HELEN!! LIBALAILE!!
Richard: RICH....
Richard was cut off by the sudden explosion of the front door.
Richard & Helen: Timmy?!
: Ohh.. so sorry.. I'm not this "Timmy" person. I do have a simple question for you though. Richard: RICHARD!!
Helen: HELEN!!
: err.. yes.. I suppose that's what you want to be called... Okay, Richard and Helen. You have been so kind to open up your home to me but I will have to kill you if you do not tell me where Goku is. You see, several years ago, Goku defeated me and then some other punk finished me off for good. Just recently I was able to escape Hell and come back to Earth now TELL ME WHERE GOKU IS SO I CAN EXTRACT MY REVENGE!! Richard: Goku? GOKU!!!!
Helen: RICHARD!!
: ARG! useless retards! raises his hand and a small blue energy ball appears... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kyle: DUDE! What the hell was that?!
Stan: I don't know dude but that was a loud ass explosion just now.. and it's not helping my headache either
Cartman: Don't be such a pussy dude, this kind of crap always happens in South Park..
Butters: Well, uh, guys we better go to the school playground.. I heard Clyde and the others are over there throwing a party! It's Token's birthday.. maybe someone over there heard something..
Stan: Wait.. Token's birthday?? Why the hell weren’t we invited?
Kyle: They probably didn't want Fat-ass ruining the party
Cartman: 'EY!
Ike: bababa..party!
Ike pulls out a party hat and puts it on his head
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Craig: What the hell was that??
Token: I don't know man but it's too close for comfort whatever it was.. What do you think, Clyde?
Clyde: How the Hell should I know.. it looks like it came from Timmy's house though..
Timmy: Tim..mmah?
Wendy: hey look guys it's Stan!
Stan: Yeah, Butters told us that you guys were having a party.. Do you guys know anything about the movie theater?
Token: The movie theater? What about it?
Kyle: It's.. gone.. nothing left of it but ashes...
Clyde: Wow .. yeah and Timmy's house is gone too..
Kenny: Man what the fuck is going on here? This is bullshit! Why can't we just live in peace for once?
Tweek: ARRG!! Too.. much.. PRESSURE!! We're all gonna die!!
Stan: look just calm down, dude we're not gonna die..
: Don't be so sure about that.. The silhouette of the lizard-like being floated above the playground. Its arms crossed as it slowly turned it's head toward the kids, revealing two evil red glowing eyes...
Chapter 3: The Tyrant Known as Frieza
Stan: Dude! Who the..WHAT the hell ARE you!?
: Me, heh. I suppose you can think of me as the Grim Reaper. Kyle: Dude no. No fucking way is this shit happening AGAIN in South Park?!?!
Cartman: Seriously. Why don't we just move the hell away?!
Butters: Well, because..
: SILENCE!! Enough of your babbling. You will all bow before me! Clyde: Yeah, and what if we don't, you over-grown lizard freak?
: If you choose to disobey my orders I will make your life a living hell. Just ask the Saiyan race. They chose to rebel against me and I destroyed them.. their entire planet.... only a few escaped. Stan: Saiyans? What the hell? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!
: Pathetic Earthling doesn't even know my name... Okay then.. I'll humor you. I am known throughout the universe as Lord Frieza... Kenny: More like Lord Penis Sucker
Frieza: INSOLANT FOOL!!
Frieza raises his arm and extends his index finger toward Kenny. A small red ball of energy forms at his finger tip.
Pip: LOOK OUT!
Frieza: DEATH BEAM!!
A long red beam of energy suddenly shoots out of Frieza's index finger and shoots straight for our hooded friend just in enough time for Pip to dive in front of it.
Pip: uhh.. oohh.. K..Kenny.. are you okay??
Kenny: Yeah dude I feel kickass!
Pip: Listen... listen to me.. you have .. to get out of here.. Fre.. Frieza is too powerful.. he'll... he'll destroy you all.. nobody.. can... beat......
Our un-important British hero lay in front of Kenny with a small hole through his stomach in a pool of blood.
Stan: He's dead.... You killed Pip!
Kyle: You bas.... wait.. why do we care? Pip was annoying.
Stan: Shut up dude show some respect.
Kyle: ugh.. fine.. YOU BASTARD!!
Frieza: I've been called much worse.
Kyle: What the hell is your problem dude? Picking on a bunch of 4th graders?!
Frieza: Fourth Graders? By the size of her tits I'd expect you to at least be in middle school. (He points at Be Be)
Be Be:... STOP STARING AT MY BOOBS!!
Frieza: Now then... do any of you know where I can find a man by the name of Son Goku? Some may call him Kakorot?
Clyde: No dude we have no idea what the hell you are talking about.
Frieza: Very well then. Thank you for your time. I hope I have not intruded. (Frieza starts to float away)
Stan: Dude that was pretty f...
but before he could get the world out Frieza slowly turns back around
Frieza: Oh, and one more thing... SEE YOU IN HELL!!!
With a swoop of his hand, the school behind the kids suddenly goes up in flames. Frieza flees away back toward the town. Luckily, Mr. Mackey happened to be driving around town picking up hookers, so he wasn't in the school.
Arms, Legs, and other body parts of Ms. Garrison, Principal Victoria, and other facility are seen flying out of the building covered in blood. Ms. Garrison's decapitated head lands on the marry-go-round.
Chapter 4: Alleys
Ike: I pooped my PANTS!!
Kyle: UGH! And from the smell of it, Cartman did too!
Kenny: Sick, Cartman! Don’t' you ever wipe your ass?
Cartman: 'AY! I've had enough out of you!
Token: Damn dude.. Cartman, you..
Cartman: SHUT YOUR BLACK ASS UP!!.. AND YOU SHUT YOUR JEW ASS UP!!! AND YOU SHUT YOUR POOR ASS UP!!! (he points to everyone and tells them to shut up, making fun of their race/religion/financial state when a rock comes out of nowhere and hits him in the back of the head
Wendy: That ought to shut him up. Now think about this guys.. we have 2 dead teachers, 2 dead parents, a dead British kid, and a dead movie ticket guy. This "Freezer" guy is off destroying South Park. Soon everyone we know will be dead. What the ell are we going to do?
Kyle:.. I really thought you were going somewhere with this, Wendy..
Tweek. ARRRG!! SHUT UP!! Dude this is WAY too much pressure for me!!
Stan: Well come on.. we have to do something.. We have to follow that guy! Surely there's some way to kill him!
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An entire army has been called to South Park. The streets are littered with Tanks, Army Trucks, Vans, Swat Team, Cop Cars, and soldiers on foot. The army is being led by Officer Barbrady.
General: There he is, men.. Up there in the sky. Don't anyone of you waste any bullets until I give the word.
Officer Barbrady (Into mega-phone): "Sir, you are under arrest for 1st degree murder and destruction of property. Although we have no idea how we're gonna get you down from there we will need you to come on down and place your hands into the cuffs. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you sa..."
Frieza thinking to himself: "How stupid is this guy?"
Officer Barbrady: "This is your last chance, sir. Come down here or we will open fire!"
General: "fuck this! He's just floating up there mocking us! Alright men, OPEN FIRE!"
Bullets, grenades, rockets and any other type of firepower whizzes and hurls through the air straight toward Frieza. The end result is a huge explosion that can be seen from miles away.
Entire army: Yaaayy!!
Barbrady: we did it, general!
general: well did you ever once doubt the United States Army? Just look at the smoke up there!! no one could have survived that!
Frieza: No one... except for me, perhaps! Huh-huh-huh..
Barbrady: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Frieza: I have a little treat for you. I'm not the only one who escaped Hell. BURTER!! JEICE!!
A large blue man with reptile-like skin and a smaller orange man with white hair and an Australian accent, both wearing the same armor appear next to Frieza.
Jeice: Sir?
Frieza: How about you guys have a little bit of fun getting rid of this small annoyance?
Jeice and Burter: YES SIR!!
Jeice and Burter land in front of the army, in a rather stylish, posing manner.
Jeice: JEICE!!
Burter: BURTAAAAHH!!
Jeice and Burter: We are the remaining members of... THE GINYU FORCE!
Army dude: Ginyu whaaa?
Burter: Should I do the honors, Jeice?
Jeice: Hell nah, mate I haven’t had a good warm-up in years! let me take this one, ey. mate?
Burter: Whatever, nigga.
Jeice extends his arm up into the air and opens his hand up flat. In his palm, a large red and white ball appears.
Jeice: CRUSHA BALL!!
The huge sphere of energy is suddenly hurled toward the army. This was all that was needed, to obliterate everyone within 500 yards.
Chapter 5: Pip's Revenge
The three men walk amongst themselves through the streets of South Park, bringing terror wherever they may roam.
Jeice: Hey, Frieza.. If we're looking for Goku and Vegeta, what the Hell are we doing wasting our time in this white bread, mountain town?
Frieza: Patience, my Australian-accent friend. It's been a while since I've had a little fun.
Burter: But master Frieza!! Goku is a Super Saiyan, and from what I've heard, so is Vegeta! They also have the ability to fuse their bodies together and become one person! They are at least 50 times stronger than when you fought them, AND they could be training as we speak!
Frieza: YOU DARE UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER!? I have been undergoing some fierce training in Hell with Cooler, Cell, Raditz, and Broli.. even though Broli is a no-good Saiyan monkey, we have all been secretly training to become even STRONGER than Gogeta!! They won't stand a CHANCE!! fu ha ha ha ha!
Burter: Whatever, nigga.
Jeice: Then WHY the hell are we here!? Let's go whoop their asses!
Frieza: Not yet.. I think I'll have a little bit of fun here first.
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Stan: holy shit dude! This is worse than when Barbra Streisand visited us.
Kyle: OH MY GOD DUDE!
Stan: What??
Kyle: L... look over there.. my house.. it's..
Stan: .. gone.
Kyle: Mom?! Dad?! where are you!?
Gerald: Kyle?? KYLE! IKE! .. I'm so glad your okay! Something terrible has happened..
Kyle: I know, dad.. it.. happened as soon as we left to the movies.. Ike and I brought along the gang and.. the theater was completely gone.. then the school..
Butters: uh, hi, Mr. Broflovski.
Gerald: Hi, Butters. Stan, Cartman, Kenny. You boys doing okay?
Stan: Well, We've been better.
Gerald: Well, at least your not hurt... My arm is broken in three different places but.. well Kyle.. could I see you and Ike in private please?
Gerald, Kyle and Ike walk behind the rubble of the house to where the other boys can't see or hear them.
Butters: Well, uh, what… what do you think is going on, Stan?
Stan: I don't know, dude.. but I don't like this.
Cartman: Dude.. have you noticed that Kyle's mom is missing?
Stan: Yeah, dude where the hell is she??
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Frieza: hmm.. "Hell's Pass Hospital?" The local Clinic.. There will be no need to heal our victims. Burter, take care of this for me.
Burter: Sure thing, Frieza.
Burter walks up to the building and kicks in the door.
Nurse: Um, sir, you will have to wait a while.. recently we've had about 100 people today come in with various injuries.. most of them severe. The doctor is very busy..
Burter: Oh, dear. And do you know who caused these injuries?
Nurse: Well, everyone says that there are 3 monsters who have arrived in town.. 1/3 of the population is already dead, and 1/2 of the remaining population is severely injured.
Burter: Hmm. That's too bad. And what would you do if you saw these monsters, may I ask?
Nurse: What would I do? Those bastards killed my only daughter! She was pregnant! Those assholes I would shoot them in the head my fucking self.
Burter: Now's your chance, bitch.
Burter floats to the desk and raises his hand to her face, and extends his palm.
Burter: Go ahead, bitch. Shoot me. Send me back to Hell, where I came from.
Nurse:... uhh..
The blue energy beam shoots out of Burter's hand and instantly disintegrates the head of the nurse. Patients begin to scream and run around, and Burter practices his shooting with everyone of them, and uses his index finger to shoot energy beams at everyone.
Burter: Hmm. A well done job indeed. 100 head shots in under 45 seconds. A new record. And t hey wonder why they call me the fastest in the universe.
The hospital explodes and Burter is seen floating out, casually. He joins the other two members of his gang in mid air.
Frieza: Well done, Burter. Kind of like how I killed that Frenchie Frog a while back.
: You son of a bitch.. Frieza: What?!
: Nobody... calls me... FRENCHIE!! Frieza: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!
Pip is holding his stomach in pain and holding a dodge ball in his other hand.
Pip: Your little ray-beam barely missed my heart. Now it's payback time, bitch!
Pip gets real pissed off and starts spinning out of control. He launches the dodge ball straight toward Frieza's face. Frieza causally moves his head to dodge, but at the sacrifice of one of his minions.
Burter: AHHH SHIT!!
(POW!!)
Jeice: BURTER!!!
Burter's decapitated head falls to the ground, and blood splashes from his neck, as the dead corpse falls to the earth below.
Pip: Right-o.
Pip falls over in pain and exhaustion, face down on the ground. Frieza and Jeice shrug this off and continue their massacre.
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Gerald knees down to meet the height of his two sons, and puts each arm on one of their shoulders. He gives them an "it'll be all okay" smile with tears in his eyes. Confused, Kyle smiles back at his father.
Gerald: Boys, I'm afraid I have some bad news about your mother..
Kyles smile fades to a more concerned look, as does Gerald.
Gerald: Boys.. Shelia and I were on the couch, watching Judge Joe Brown... and well.. the explosion hit and..
Kyle: Where is she dad?! Where the hell is my mother!
Gerald takes a deep breath and exhales. Tears begin to fill his eyes and he removes his yarmulke and holds it to his chest.
Kyle: dad...
Gerald: Your mother is dead, Kyle.
